“Is it just any old thing you touch that crumples into dog !@#$?”
“Your Mom survived. Barely.”
“Guess I know how the old gal got that limp.”
Make no mistake, Epic’s new FPS BulletStorm will win no Oscar this year for intelligent prose. This game drops the F-bomb almost as often as I did as an enlisted soldier in the army, and the gore is so over the top that it’ll probably make even the most anti-videogame lobbyist feel silly for ever complaining about Mortal Kombat. However, despite the fact that the game is being marketed as the next “controversial avant-garde” action game, BulletStorm delivers one of the satisfying and fun experiences I’ve ever had playing a videogame.
Like most people, I purchased the game for no other reason than to play the Gears of War 3 beta; I wasn’t even planning on playing it till the beta launched. Black Ops burnout was really setting in, however, so I decided pop in BulletStorm, expecting a quick mindless frag-fest. I was more than shocked to find out that BulletStorm’s profane and shallow exterior was nothing more than a candy coating for the real treat that wasn’t advertised. The environments in BulletStorm are full of colorful and vicious life, packed so full of details and backstory that the developers really made it feel like it was a world long before you decided to crash land on it. The “kill with skill” tagline really delivers, as there are a multitude of different ways you can kill the hordes of enemies set against you, and the game rewards you with better weapons and jump out of your seat “HOLY !@#$, that just happened” moments. Early in the game I was a bit tentative and was satisfied with kicking enemies off cliffs and impaling them on jutting pieces of rebar, but later found the joy of hitting them with anti-gravity and turning them into a sloppy bottle rocket with one of my firearms. Of course, there are many, many more ways to kill your enemies in BulletStorm, which I encourage you to explore.
Like every game, this one has its downsides. Despite the fact that this is a very well made game (imagine if they made Gears of War a FPS), you won’t be wearing an MLG BulletStorm T-shirt any time soon. Unfortunately, the multiplayer is much more like Halo “Firefights” than a “Team Death Match”. You can kill the AI in hundreds of cool ways, but your friends? Not so much. If you were looking for a realistic tactical experience, you’ll also be woefully disappointed. Oftentimes cover is more dangerous than the enemies themselves, so methodical gameplay is pushed aside for a more balls to the wall approach. Lastly, the profanity is so intense, that videogame reviewers will say things like “Balls to the Wall” and not even bat an eyelash. Seriously, don’t buy this for your 8 year old. You were warned. However, if you are mature enough, or the person you are buying it for is, be prepared for one of the most ridiculous, bloody, over the top, most-fun-I’ve-ever-had experiences this year.
Submitted By: Daniel Dewey (Employee)
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